Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Week Ten: The Birds

Week Ten: Birds

Okay, so not much happened this week, other than discovering that my swimsuit and swan dives just down mix. Oops! But there is something still to discuss. Birds.

No really! You haven't seen a bird until youve seen a German bird. It's like...huge. The bird here are either small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, or as big as my forearm. Like there's magpies.

Everyone knows about magpies. They're the ones that like shiny things and will take them if they spot them and add them to their little nest. There have been stories about magpies.

Let me tell you, before, I thought magpies were tiny bird. The palm size ones. Oh heck no!

It's a monster! It's sea-gull size, and not those wimpy little parking lot seagulls wither. It's basically the size of a cat. This is not a joke. Magpies are huge black and white words that I imagine a certain yorkie-poo I know running away from. I would run from it!

It's not just the magpies. I'm not certain whether the black birds are crows or ravens, but they are equally huge. It's like god super sized the German birds.

Mind you, there are smaller birds too. Small brown ones with pointed wing tips that are like arrows when they fly. I don't know what these are, but I'm pretty certain they have horrible eyesight. Why do I think this? Well.

There's this bird.

It's not very bright bird.

And there's this door.

It's a sliding glass door.

It's smudged, and has fingerprints and scratches.

It is not a windex door.

And every two weeks, this small brown bird flies right into it, without fail. Once it flew inside and back out again in shock. The sound made? CLUNG! Yes, I am serious. CLUNG!

It's fun to be in the room when the bird does that, but I can't imagine that the bird much enjoys it. Though I still think it's kind of funny.

So, there you have it. German birds. Either big, terrifying, and cat sized, or small and slightly stupid.

Also, as a side note, the town I live in has no stray dogs, but it does have half a dozen exceeding clever stray cats that like to use our yard as a street. And the birds avoid these cats, every the really huge ones. This makes me feel somewhat better about myself.

One Final Byte: I would never ever mess with a magpie.

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